Certainty in the Uncertain

Elin Wahlstedt is dependent on TPN. Coping with her condition on a daily basis takes a lot of planning. Despite this, she appreciates her life and has ambitions for the future. 

My future has never been certain. I’m not saying anyone ever has a certain future but not knowing how long you will live makes things different. I wasn’t sure I would ever graduate from high school; but I did. I wasn’t sure I would ever find someone who could look at me and not just see a sick girl, a burden; but I have. I have very much grown up day by day, one problem at a time, one hospital visit at a time. But there has always been this one thing that I have known with all my heart… I want to be a nurse.

I honestly can not remember a point in my life when I haven’t wanted to be a nurse. It is the one thing that has been consistent through out my life. I want to be like the nurses who took care of me, I want to be that nurse to some kid who suddenly is given the hospital as a second home. I want to be the nurse who honestly can say “I know what you’re going through.”

When I graduated from high school, I was really sick and tired of studying. I was tired of being bound to school and I felt a desire to be able to go home after work and just getting to do what ever I wanted to. I saw myself seriously getting into writing those books I had been thinking about or just lying in the couch and not feel guilty because I really should be studying.

And I loved it. I loved having the freedom of going to a movie at midnight a Wednesday because I didn’t have to get up to school on Thursday. I loved working on Saturdays so I could have a day off in the middle of the week. And honestly, I loved my job. I loved working with people, I loved helping them in their everyday life. But I slowly started to realize that helping people cook, and clean their homes, and go shopping for groceries wasn’t enough. In the long run that wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. It was fun for a short period of time but in the end I wanted to do more.

So, at the beginning of last summer I decided it was time (or, to be honest, my mom told me it was time) for me to begin the journey towards the one certain thing in my life. I applied for the local college and their nursing program and as of right now I’m staring my second semester.

I still can not believe I have already been studying for five months. I have already done one sixth of my education and its so much fun! Just imagine, in three years I will be a nurse.

And that’s for certain.

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