Remove the Blame and Guilt

Many professionals are scared of formal complaint. Health care professionals live in fear of it let me say!  Imagine the scenario then of my getting a formal complaint for all sorts of misdemeanors from a complainant via my registering body.  It felt vexatious, confirmed by the fact that the female complainant sent the police to her mother’s house and that of her brother. Were we all out of step at the same time? (I think not)!

What, then, makes people act in a particular way? You may be trying to figure a situation out yourself just at the moment where someone is acting in a particular way – why do they do that? You may ask yourself “What is the matter with me that s/he does this?” An old neighbour whose husband had erectile dysfunction told me that she used to stand in front of the mirror and cry and say “What is wrong with me?”

The answer – NOTHING is wrong with you!

All behaviour is designed to meet a need!  What is the need behind the perpetrator’s behaviour? Start from NOW to figure it out. Remove the blame and guilt from your own shoulders and work out in your head what is going on for the other person…

And my complaint? I have replied to my professional organisation. They will work through their complaints procedure… What damage can anyone do to me? At my age of sixty-nine and a half I think ‘not a lot’!

This link will help you to get rid of things you don’t want inside yourself … but be careful – it may seriously improve your health.

Sue Washington has dedicated her life to helping people. From early days as a school teacher she trained psychotherapists to an exacting National standard.  Her thrust in her later years has been to help people realise their power. You can ask her a question directly at

More articles, stories, inspiration and innovation can be sent straight to your email by registering here.